The Mareh

Sometimes you really want to sleep because you are tired,
But you really cannot sleep and it is not insomnia
You just noticed your body cannot be still
Your lips always want to move non-stop,
More like a reflex
You lose appetite to eat too
Just your body shaking
Tongues muttering
Then your body is hot
Then maybe a searing heat moving through your back
You lie down
Then sit
Then pace around
Sometimes a shout
Then you open your mouth to scream in silence because you really do not want to disturb anybody with your shout.
If you make the mistake of closing your eyes
It is like water gushing out
And your body is moving through different environments at the same time
Then your eyes are seeing rapid scenes
These scenes will require you to talk out loud
Loosening
Freeing
Averting
Establishing
You really want to keep shut but you can’t keep shut
Then you are rolling again
“Dear Holy Spirit, please I want to sleep”
He will not answer.
Sometimes chilling cold
Then your bones feel freezing cold
You are crying
Raising hands
Saying holy, holy, holy.
You cannot keep still.
Then your countenance is lit up
Your brain is expanding
It is like an electromagnetic field
Your hair are up
Goosebumps all over
Then your ears are hearing sounds you can’t describe.
Tears streaming down non-stop
“What is this?
Please stop
I want to rest”
Dhurhhh
He will not answer.

You want to catch some breath
You force the breath out like you are whistling.
My goodness.
Whoooosh.

Then, you can stay up all night that way.
It is the restlessness
The energy
The excitement.

If you have questions,
My DM is open
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