As a young minister living the gospel and speaking to tens of new people almost every week, I have had my fair share of ladies falling in love with me without me knowing and it boomerangs afterwards. It has affected a few of my relationships with people.
Naturally, I am a kind man. I look out for your best interest as much as possible, I can take it to a new level if you tell me, you are in some trouble and I can help, I will do it with all of my heart and make sacrifices. The goal is to ensure the problem is solved and you live your best life. I guess my kindness and the attention I give during such a period stirs a lady’s heart to think I love her.
The first time it would happen was with a dear friend. Religion did a number on her, she was extremely broke, sick, emotionally and mentally off-balance. I knew little about the gospel but I would go to her house daily to teach her the little I knew and help snap off religious jargon. I spent an average of 3 hours with her daily. I was her sounding board too; I helped her through thick and thin.
We read books by some American preachers and listen to some messages. It helped her a lot. Then comes the time I had to travel out of the state, it was a 22-hour journey and I will be away for a long time, when I gave her the news, she was really cold about it; she looked as if she had so much to say but she kept back. I was too naive, I guess. It was about 2 years later she told me that if I had toasted her, she would have said yes without thinking twice. She was really into me and I could not see it. I told her I was sorry. Our friendship degenerated afterwards.
I have had quite a few but another one I would like to share was with another friend. I was fond of referring to my female friends as “baby”, there is no string attached; It was this incident that made me stop it. She called me early in the morning that she wanted to see me, so we scheduled a meeting for later in the day. That morning, the Holy Spirit taught me about the problem she was coming with and the solution to it but I did not know it was for her, I felt it was to be kept. We met later in the day and the problem was easy to solve. After that, I would normally check up on her to ensure she was faring well.
There were days Holy Spirit will tell me some things about her and I will pick up my phone to call her and shared with her what the Spirit said, words of knowledge and prophecy would flow. I guess it got to her; I was just being Christ, stirring the saints to walk in the light. I had no ulterior motive. The attention, help and the “care” made her think I was in love with her. She was expecting me to toast her and calling her baby did not help the matter. The day I told her I was in love with a lady was when I noticed a drastic change in her attitude towards me. It almost became a mess. She could not bear the fact that I was in love with another lady. We had to stop communicating for a while. She went to see a pastor too. Over time, she got over it.
Since that time, I had been more careful. Even if we are doing any spiritual activity together, I am careful about the discussion I would have with you; I talk less about myself and I won’t ask for personal details about you except if it is important to what we are working on.
If we have nothing to discuss together, I won’t be in your DM. I am not a chatty person (except I am in love with you), so I don’t play around. I avoid late-night calls as much as possible except it is important. I screen late-night calls by the Holy Spirit.
If I catch myself chitty chatty with you and we have nothing serious we are discussing, I will stop it.
I call people we understand each other baby; we maintain mature relationships so I have no problem with them. Some of them are even older than me.
If we are working on a problem together and we have to read scriptures and pray together for a while, do not interpret the sacrifice I am making as a sign of love. If I call to check on you, it is nothing more than checking up on you. I do not test any water. I do not play with people’s minds; I am not a player.
If I am ever interested in you, I will tell you straight up.