Of Healings in the Heart
It was one of those heartbreaks where you feel you are fine but you are not really fine.
You feel you have moved on, but you have not moved on.
You opted for therapy but you have not healed properly.
You try to keep communication intact and feel you can still talk.
Low key, you wish it had not ended.
Your phone rings, and you really hope it was that call that could change everything.
You want to keep up with him
Trying to know new developments in his life
When you get on Facebook, you search for his name
Read through his feeds…
Is he now married?
Any picture raises suspicion
You continually check his finger.
‘’Oh, there is a ring’’,
Your heart skipped a beat
‘’Gosh, it is not on that finger’’
You take a long breath.
You still have pictures
Pictures of the memories,
other pictures reminding you of the awesome times
When nothing happened,
You develop panic attacks
All incoming calls to your mobile make you panic
Then you see a status update from him
Your heart skips a bit
‘’Why is he going around happy?’’
‘’Why is he hanging out with someone?’’
‘’Not just someone, a beautiful lady too!’’
‘’It is just a few weeks already!’’
‘’How could he move on swiftly!’’
You develop resentment
Suddenly, you are bitter.
When he left, he gave you almost no explanation for leaving such a long-lasting relationship.
You’d pin a future with him.
He did not apologize to you.
He just left.
‘’All the promises he made, do they not mean anything to him?’’
‘’He’s wronged me; he deserves a terrible future’’
‘’I am unhappy; he should be unhappy too’’
‘’I am having it worse; he should have it worse too’’
Your chest starts hurting, and it hurts so bad.
Then, you cannot grasp the direction your life is going.
You are sick and worried; nothing is working.
The doctors could not help.
The drugs are not working.
Your body is getting weaker by the day,
You are dying
You are losing things
It is as if life decided to turn worse for you.
Then, you see a notification on Facebook.
You open it and you see his wedding pictures flooding the TL
He is now in a new country and doing well.
He got himself a beautiful bride and announced it to the world.
He had the guts to announce it everywhere
He is glowing and happy.
Wow!
You lost it at that point
You recount how life has been unfair to you
How God seems not to be hearing you.
Your sickness worsens, and you grow worse each day.
This was her life.
She carried the pain and emotional hurt for years.
Unforgiveness and bitterness had a field day in her heart.
She was sick and broken.
‘’Bro Paul, I am sick’’
She narrated the symptoms.
Paul asked her, when did it start?
It was an unusual question; he would normally go ahead, and command the sickness to go.
She narrated the heartbreak experience.
Paul asked her to write a note or do a recording.
Imagine the guy standing before you.
What do you want to say to him?
Say it in the note or recording.
She opted to record.
She did it, and it was very bad.
It was the first time she was letting it all out.
Paul assured her it was fine and the proper healing had started.
For the first time, she was willing to forgive him and move on.
He told her to start praying for him every day for seven days.
She laughed.
She cannot do it.
It was weird.
She could not bring herself to pray for him.
He told her it was important
She grudgingly started
She found herself wishing her all the good things in the world
Midway through, she was happy doing it.
Before the fifth day, she was healed. Totally healed.
Not just emotionally, the health issues were all gone.
Her body dying was caused by unforgiveness and bitterness.
She was happy and joyful.
It was all over.
PS: You may not get the closure you want.
Close it yourself and move on.
You are the only person responsible for your joy and happiness.
You owe yourself love.
You owe yourself joy.
You owe yourself the beauty of life.
Choose to live happily.
You are the blessed one.
I love you.
Paul Ademujimi
