Now in Love

So, I started a new relationship recently, and it’s been blissful. After my last breakup, I had to sit down and ask the Holy Spirit about the things I got wrong with that relationship. This is my way of taking responsibility. The next few weeks were tough for me and the lady made it rougher too. I guess it was rough for both of us and we have a different coping mechanisms.

One of the major things the Holy Spirit pointed to me, later on, was my inability to communicate my needs properly. This is the background story: I am used to people coming around me to discuss issues and solve them. It had always been about me giving and giving. I expect absolutely nothing from anyone. No one asks about me, or my well-being (I am the problem solver 😜). I am used to it. I rarely talk about myself. I have seen myself empty my account for someone despite having personal stuff too and I still did it recently. (This is not changing; I am forever a life-giving spirit. I said this to put context into the relationship issue). Also, I don’t do those sounding board stuff too.

So, I carried that mentality into my last relationship. I felt I had no need; it should just be about me giving. When I am offended, I am quick to ignore and apologize first in many circumstances (the perfect gentleman 😜). I felt I had no need and it should just be me giving and giving. Of course, I was taken for granted and everything I ignored was piling up in me. At a time, I was fed up, and we both dropped the bomb on each other.

I planned to do something different this time around. I talk about myself more, my needs, and expectations too. When I started talking, dust was raised, but I managed it. If I do not do what is needed, I will end up being stressed and cause unnecessary pain for both of us. Despite being the hardest thing for me to do, for the first time in my life, I am talking more about myself and my needs.

This is to my baby, I love you.