Lonely

My friends once said to me, “Paul, tell us about a time you experienced loneliness.” I have never felt lonely all my life, I responded. My friends were shocked when they heard my response. One replied, “It is not possible,” and I understand why he would think so. I didn’t talk about it again since he was about to argue that my personal experience was not valid because it did not align with the reality of most people. In order not to sound arrogant, I discontinued the conversation.

However, I mean it when I say I have never been lonely in my almost three decades on earth. I lost my dad at 12 and had to look after myself. This gave me a sense of self-dependence and the belief that I can achieve whatever I set out to do in life alone. When I had my first girlfriend in JSS3/SSS1, it was not for companionship; it was one of the fallouts of peer pressure; we broke up when I entered College about six years later because I felt I needed to be close with God. Although I had not met the Holy Spirit, I was devoted to scripture reading and personal development, so I had no time for loneliness garb. In fact, a very close friend once remarked that I was emotionless, I chuckled in response. I was not that prayerful, just reading.

You will be awed by my vast knowledge if you have ever met me in person. It was in those years that I developed my mental acumen. I always read and would roll out figures and facts to cripple arguments that were not backed with facts. My coursemates in this space can testify to my political sagacity; you can rarely win a debate against me. This is not pride; I am that vast in knowledge. However, after my encounter with the Holy Spirit, I stopped arguing with people.

In my final year in 2015, I met the Holy Spirit in my room in August, and His presence melted me. Before this encounter, I was a hard man, boldfacing life, but He took away all the toughness and softened my heart for His purpose. He became everything to me. The Holy Spirit is more real to me than the device I am typing with right now. If you stand physically in my presence, the Holy Spirit is more real to me than your presence.

My encounter and experience with the Holy Spirit continued for five days. No one taught me how to speak with the Holy Spirit; I learned it from Him because I had no one to talk to except Him. When my need for a companion was springing up, He was right there to fill in. He became my companion. Whatever a man is to you, the Holy Spirit is more than that to me. He is everything. No one has sustained the intelligence to get to me as He does. I will throw away any material or physical thing to have only Him in my life. When I left NYSC, I used my allowance for the last two months to get a huge Dake Bible. A friend abroad had to add to the money😅.

If I ever need to hold someone’s hand, talk to anyone, hug anyone, need a companion, experience an emotional breakdown, or am in serious need, I will always turn to Him. He is everything to me. If I am in a church service and the whole thing is boring, He will sit with me and converse.

When I was setting up my business, He would tell me about the personalities of the people I am dealing with to know what to do in my business dealings with them. He is that close. I do not joke with Him.

When I say I have never felt lonely in my entire life, I mean it, the Holy Spirit fills every gap. I hope you desire more than this with Him. I hope He can become your all. Dear future wife, He is my first love.