There was a case I handled some time ago, and it involved daily fellowship with this sister. On this fateful day, this sister wrote on her WhatsApp status that pastors are now using prayers and Bible reading to toast sisters in the name of helping them. Immediately I saw the status, I went to her DM and informed her that a sister friend would fellowship with her going forward. I told my friend what the issue was and how far we had come to make sure she finds her feat in Christ. The sister asked me what she did, I told her it was time for her to move to the next phase of her growth process. Before the ministry started, I would normally schedule a one-on-one with people when working on issues. It got me into serious trouble with some sisters, and I had to deal with a barrage of unwarranted love gestures. I learned the hard way. It is easy for the opposite sex to interpret my availability to help them walk through the murky waters as a sign of love. I did not realize it at the beginning. Normally, when I know that a believer needs fellowship to stay afloat and come out of a situation, I will schedule at least one hour daily with them and do it for 21–30 days. We will read the scripture, pray in tongues together, and I will counsel when needed. Little did I know that those moments we spend fellowshipping can create an impression for a sister that this brother cares about her and love her. Of course, I care as Christ cares for you and no more than that. I will do as Christ in all situations. I do my kingdom work without any emotional attachment.
The first time it happened was with a friend, religious people had done a number on her and she needed a lot of mental support and talking sessions to get the gospel right. At that time, I had no clue about ministering to people, and I never saw myself as one; I was just a friend who cared. She fell in love with me badly and I had no idea. She came out of it. She told me years later. I noticed the same thing with other sisters before the ministry started. Whenever we are to fellowship, I stick to what we are there to do, with no personal discussion. Once the days are done, I rarely keep in touch except to ask how the person is doing. There was a time I noticed a sister was growing fond of me; at that point, I reached out to a lady friend to handle her from now on. She complained so much and threatened that she may lose her progress, I said the Holy Spirit would hold her. Immediately after the ministry started, we pray and read scripture every day, just join us. Except in rare cases, I do not do a one-on-one fellowship, and I keep to my ground rules. I do not chitchat nor flirt around. I am not looking for a wife.
Recently, I have had to handle a case like this where a sister fell madly in love with a brother (an evangelist) because he was there to help her through difficult moments. I spoke to the brother, and he said he never for once viewed her as someone he could date, just a brother and sister relationship. He never led her on. While speaking to the sister, she was so convinced he was in love with her but she thinks he was holding back because she is not enough. From my end, I could see deeper problems than falling in love but I needed to address the first problem. She came out of it. She is fine right now.
If a brother has never opened his mouth to make his intention known, please do not fall in love. If he is leading you on and he is not forthcoming, please ask him to his face. If he is there praying with you during challenging times, never assume he loves you.
PS: I do not like breakfast, and I avoid it with all of my heart.